"TEN COMMANDMENTS OF GOOD DIVORCE"
is becoming more difficult to deal with coexistence and easier to eliminate. Living is the real test, which shows if you really love us and respect us. We have spent almost eternal relationship in which the separation was against the dominant morality, to others where they take the easy way to end the relationship and start a new separate ways. Nobody holds anyone.
There is no ideal situation generalizable. Each of us must chart its own path, no two people are alike, but what is certain is that if we educate us better, our human relations could be different.
remember one of the congresses of Psychoanalysis I've attended that talked end of the century disease is intolerance towards people. Psychoanalysis has revealed the narcissism of relationships, we look at the other, that is, we like other things that remind us of ourselves. Seems to love the other is complex which is different from ourselves. True love is defined just that, to tolerate what the other is different. Love is love at the differences. "
The romantic love that many people still aspire, offers an ideal and inevitably condemned to failure who pursues him. It is a kind of love that corresponds to the period of infatuation, of idealization, where everything seems perfect and where it is felt that the world revolves around the couple. We know that this period is transitory, it should be, because the lover away from reality.
Many times, love the other means, precisely, to break the relationship. This prevents many serious situations that can lead to abuse. Things done on time is a criterion of health. We must not understand then, that any breakup is a failure, nothing is eternal. Every order is a new beginning. If we learn from the experience and look to the future with optimism we learn something of love, because love is not a single person, but love life, love, grow, learn, work.
Together or separately, must not forget that a couple are two people with different psyches. This is the first step for a living or a more civilized separation. Nobody belongs to us, not even the children.
Helena Trujillo Luque
marriage counselor - Psychoanalyst
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